Only Human: Deborah Mitchell
How finding purpose in grief helped Deborah rebuild her life and create a business built on compassion.
“Looking back on the old Deborah, I don’t recognise myself at all. I couldn’t have been any lower than I was. Now I’ve never been better.”
Just four years ago Deborah Mitchell couldn’t leave the house. She couldn’t imagine working again, let alone dream about running a business. Her world felt tiny and the future was impossible to picture.
Yet today, we meet Deborah in her very own beautifully restored funeral home in the heart of her hometown of Washington, where she spends her days helping families through some of life’s most difficult moments.
The contrast isn’t lost on her.
“Back then, I couldn’t see a future for myself. I was just putting one foot in front of the other,” she says.
So, how did she get from there to here?
The answer, she says didn’t happen overnight, but lies in finding purpose in unexpected places and the support of people who believed in her when she struggled to believe in herself.
Looking back
Before opening Deborah Mitchell Independent Funeral Services, Deborah spent decades building a successful career in other sectors. Over the years she worked in accounting, insurance and Primary Care, eventually becoming a GP practice manager.
What she couldn’t have predicted was that her ‘true calling’ would emerge later in life, through one of the most challenging periods she had ever faced.
After experiencing a series of traumatic events and losing her beloved mam, Deborah’s mental health deteriorated, leading to a diagnosis of complex PTSD.
“My mental health was at rock bottom and I could no longer work,” she says. “Then Covid hit and my entire world closed in. To be honest, lockdown suited me quite well. I felt safe in my own home, but eventually those four walls became barriers to my life.”
An unexpected opportunity
Things began to shift when a friend mentioned that her sister needed some help in a local funeral home.
“I was really daunted by the thought of going back into the workplace and had no idea if I’d be able to manage, but the feeling of wanting to give it a go outweighed my nervousness,” Deborah says.
The role quickly became much more than an admin position.
“I took to the work so well, partly because of my business background, but also because I love working with people. I’d recently lost my mam, so bereavement was still at the forefront of my mind and I could strongly relate to what people were going through.
“I knew I’d found my niche. It was completely unexpected but it was like everything was pointing in this direction.”
Finding purpose
“I realise there’s something unusual about the fact I regained my confidence and found my light in the darkness of death,” she says. “But I loved that I could use my experiences to help others and that, in turn, helped me.”
Now, that experience shapes everything she does. From helping families personalise a service to simply taking the time to listen, she’s determined to provide the kind of support people need during life’s most difficult moments.
“This is a purpose-led business. I’m not in it for the money. I know I’m finally in the right place.”
Taking the leap
As Deborah’s confidence grew, so did encouragement from those around her.
Her daughter, colleagues, local funeral professionals and mortuary staff recognised her natural ability and encouraged her to set up a business of her own.
Support also came from a local networking group, where Deborah found advice and friendship from fellow business owners who made her dream slowly begin to feel achievable.
Through the Enterprising Sunderland initiative, the North East BIC provided the next piece of the puzzle, with business adviser Hina providing practical support and reassurance as she navigated the challenges of starting a business.
“Sometimes you need someone who can help you see what’s possible and remind you how far you’ve come. I feel so lucky to have had that in Hina who’s been with me every step of the way.”
When a historic property in the heart of Washington became available, Deborah knew she’d found the perfect home for her business.
“The building itself has always had close connections to the community and it makes me proud to know I’m keeping that connection alive,” she says.
“The first owner was a woman and I love that I’m keeping that strong female story alive as the first female-owned funeral directors in Washington.”
Extensive renovation work turned the former T&I Bells catering and butchers’ premises into a warm and welcoming funeral home complete with ceremony room and mortuary, and Deborah opened the doors in March 2024.
Despite warnings that it could take years to establish herself, she secured 26 funerals in her first year and 40 in her second, with demand continuing to grow.
Why I’m sharing my story
Today, Deborah’s really proud of the business she’s built, but she’s even prouder of how far she’s come personally.
Recovery hasn’t been a straight line, but she’s learned to treat herself with patience and understanding.
“I’ve learned to be more compassionate with myself and to know and respect my limits,” she says. “I still have my struggles, like everyone does, but I’m more comfortable managing my anxieties. When I hit a challenging spot, I no longer think I’m back to square one. I just think I’m having a bad day and tomorrow will be a new day.
“I used to be ashamed of my struggles with my mental health and PTSD and I used to imagine people would judge me. But I’ve found when I’ve opened up about it, it’s helped others who’ve been silently struggling themselves.”
That’s why she wanted to share her story.
“Having gone through it all, I now feel passionately about helping others find their own way out of the darkness. I feel brave enough to tell my own story in the hope it might show just one person that there is always so much hope.”
Looking forward
As her business continues to grow, Deborah is exploring new ways to support local families, including plans for a memorial garden where people can remember loved ones.
If there’s one thing she’d like people to take from her journey, what would it be?
“I don’t want anyone reading this to think I’m feeling sorry for myself by talking about my struggles. It’s quite the opposite. I want to show how good things can come from the darkest times and how starting your own business can be the solution you’ve been looking for. If I can do it, anyone can.”
Want to connect with Deborah?
Check out her website, follow on Facebook or call into her funeral home on Station Road, Washington.
Enterprising Sunderland forms part of Sunderland’s Business Support Programme and is funded by the North East Mayoral Strategic Authority through its Integrated Settlement.